


take it like a man

by ace8013, misingularity, Pinkie1201



Category: Legally Blonde - All Media Types, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Crack Taken Seriously, F/F, F/M, Gen, Legally Blonde AU, M/M, Multi, Vision is dead, but jonas is alive ?, charles xavier is still the worst, dont worry laura has her lesbian awakening, legally blonde but gayer, nate and noh are gay sorry, this was brought to you by the young avengers protection squad, we created a cat named yaps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-15 21:05:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17536256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace8013/pseuds/ace8013, https://archiveofourown.org/users/misingularity/pseuds/misingularity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkie1201/pseuds/Pinkie1201
Summary: what about love? i never mentioned love.--or the Young Avengers Legally Blonde AU





	take it like a man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ace8013- hi we are theatre nerds who collaborated on this enjoy our crackfic  
> pinkie1201-This came from getting really emotional while listening to Legally Blonde and thinking of it as a BillyTeddy song and it kind of spiraled off from there… be prepared for the wild ride to come because honestly we don’t know how this is gonna work out :) Also shoutout to the YAPS for letting us be theater nerds on main

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, you guys!” Cassie managed to choke out through labored breaths.

 

“What's going on? What is this?” Kate snapped, yanking the piece of paper out of Cassie's flailing hands. “Oh my god.”

 

Eli looked over Kate’s shoulder to see what they  were flustering  over. “Oh my god! Is this  card  for who I think it’s for?” Eli now seeing why  the  two were getting so excited.

 

“Oh my god!” Kate cried grabbing a pen from her bag, “Oh my god!” Under her breath as she wrote, she muttered, “Dear Billy, honey, mazel tov, your future’s taking off, bring that ring back and show it to me!” She had barely finished writing when Eli ripped the card out of her hands.

 

Eli whispered to the two girls as he  wrote quickly, “I wish I could be there to see it when he gets down on one knee!”

 

“I know right!” Cassie squealed jumping up and down. “Can we take this to him now, Kate?”

 

“I don’t think he’s here,”  Kate answered, “I think he went to the mall. Lucky! C’mon boy! Let’s go find Billy!”

* * *

 

“This suit needs to seal the deal, make a grown man kneel, but can't look like I’m desperate,” Billy muttered to himself, “or like I'm waiting for it, gotta leave Jimmy his pride,” 

 

The doors fly open, Kate leading the group, shouting, “There he is! Billy!”

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, you guys!” Billy takes Kate’s hands in his own, “This whole week I’ve had butterflies, every time he looks at me it’s totally proposal eyes! Oh my god, you guys! Help me dress for my fairytale, I can’t wear something I bought on sale! ”

 

“Love is like forever, this is no time to economize!” Eli said excitedly, cutting off Billy.

 

“Oh my godddddd!” Cassie squealed. 

 

A salesman with ‘Kang’ on his name tag eyes Billy from across the store,  _ he’s feeling petty _ . He pulls the price tag off a suit and makes his way over to the group with it. “This is perfect for you, we just got it in yesterday!” He began to charm Billy.

 

“Ooh, with a half loop stitch on wool?”  Billy inquired.

 

“Of course,”  came Kang’s unsure response.

 

“The thing is, you can’t do a half loop stitch on wool, it’ll pucker ,” Billy paused, “And, you didn’t get it in yesterday, because I saw it in last May’s  _ Vogue _ .” 

 

Eli turned to Kate and Cassie and muttered, “Oh my god, you guys.” 

 

“Billy saw right through that guy’s lies!” Cassie stage-whispered back.

 

“I may be in love, but I’m not stupid buddy,  I’ve got eyes,” Billy scoffed.

 

“Billy! ” A saleswoman rushes over to where they're standing, “ Sorry, our mistake, Kang, take your break! Ignore him, he’s being petty,” 

 

“Oh, hi Jess!” Billy smiles.

 

Jessica Jones  hands  Billy a suit on a hanger. “Try this on, I take care of my best clientele, consider it a gift.” 

 

Billy disappears behind the dressing room curtain and emerges in a light pink blazer and black slacks. 

 

“Oh my god, you guys! This one’s perfect! And it’s exactly my size, see dreams really can come true, you never have to compromise!”  Billy expressed excitedly.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god you guys! Let’s go home before someone cries” Kate says starting to get teary eyed. 

 

Cassie walked over to give Billy a hug and said. “ If there ever was a perfect couple this one is it. 'Cause we love you guys.” She sobs.

 

“I love you guys!”  Billy exclaimed, pulling the rest of his friends into a hug .

* * *

“Oh Jimmy, tonight’s just perfect.” Billy gushed  from where he was seated at a table in a beautiful restaurant.

 

“No, you’re perfect.” Jimmy Stidham gushed back

 

“No, you are.” Billy answered defiantly.

 

“No, you.”

 

“No, you.”

 

Jimmy took Billy’s hands in his own, “I want you to know how happy you’ve made me, every guy dreams of finding someone like you. We both know why we’re here, I guess it calms my fear to know this isn't a surprise. We’ve got some plans to make, let’s take some action.” 

 

“ Well, I never thought that I-” Billy began.

 

Jimmy stopped him abruptly, “Uh, honey, I’m not finished.”

 

“Oh, sorry.” Billy hung his head.

 

“ Since I was two or three, my life was planned out neat; I’d get my law degree and then win my senate seat, a big white house back east, all of the amenities. Three kids at least just like the Kennedys ,” Jimmy continued, “ Here’s where our lives begin. Just where do you fit in ?”

 

Jimmy placed his other hand on Billy’s, “I’ll break it down now, baby: I’ve got some dreams to make true, I know that you’ll understand. It’s time to get serious with you,” Billy smiled hopefully, “That’s why you and I should break up.” 

 

Billy's face fell immediately. “What?” He asked quietly.

 

They were both silent for a moment. “You're breaking up with me?” Billy choked out, “I thought you were proposing.”

 

“I did talk to my parents about it, but... they expect a lot from me. I’m going to Harvard Law School and my brother’s at Yale and so’s his new wife, and she’s a Vanderbilt for christ's sake.” Jimmy disclosed.

 

“So I’m not good enough for you? Jimmy, I’m from Malibu. I’m not exactly trailer-trash here.” Billy had started to cry, silent tears.

 

“Billy, if I’m gonna be a senator when I’m thirty… I’m gonna need somebody serious! Less of a.. dumb blonde, I guess. Baby, let’s both be strong, I mean, we’ve known all along-“ 

 

“Just shut up,” Billy stops him, “What does that mean, ‘I'm not serious’? But I am  _ seriously _ in love with you.” Billy stood, wiped at his eyes and strode away from Jimmy, and out of the restaurant.

 

“Baby, my future’s planned, I've got dreams to make true, I thought that you'd understand!” Jimmy called after him, before turning to a waiter, “Check, please.”


End file.
